friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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