3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
