Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
im six kinds of drunk right now
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
