Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
