So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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