Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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