Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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