3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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