Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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