dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
