omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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