dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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