Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
