yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
