My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just gargled with NyQuil
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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