HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
