Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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