the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
