Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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