Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
