i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It's just like the Real World with babies
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
