you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
