i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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