He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
