So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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