She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
