Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
