i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
