I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
