Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
