i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
did you just send me my own nude
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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