Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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