wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
