I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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