I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Houston, we have a blender
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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