Don't make out with my wife yet
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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