How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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