You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
