Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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