i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
