I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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