): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize