she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
