I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
