:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
barbara walters just said penis...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
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