it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
