what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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