Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
