First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So much rum. So many feels.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
