Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
