You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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