if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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