I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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