since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She's the barista slut.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think my moral compass just broke
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
