She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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