NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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