my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
