the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He felt like a one man threesome
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
