either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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