When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
